Ah yes, tis the season to be jo..lonely!
Although I myself don't celebrate much of anything in general or around this time of year, I do feel a tinge of envy of those surrounded by their families and loved ones (and not-so-loved but-must-be-invited ones).
Being all by myself, hundred of thousands of light years (no I'm not out and about the galaxy on the death star, but I may as well be) away from my own family, I can't help the pang of unwanted jealousy that slithers over me, as friends post picture after picture of festivities on Instagram, and my sister updates her status: she will be taking her semi-newborn over to grandmas for his very first Christmas, and high school friends sending post cards from their honeymoon-holiday eve fest! It's all so appealing suddenly! And it's making me sick! (home sick that is).
Oh what I wouldn't do to be there...Feeling stressed out over the person in charge of cooking feeling stressed out because "IS THERE ENOUGH FOOD?" & "does this taste too salty? or does it need more salt?!" or getting into arguments with siblings over every minor detail, receiving long distant phone calls from relatives we forgot we had, making obligatory phone calls to family/friends we wish we could forget we had, rounding up the noisy children and trying to find something age appropriate for them to do, and putting a little extra food in kitty's bowl because why not? It's the holiday season!
I realize all this only after leaving, even if it's just for a short time, I'm still missing THIS time (of year)...There is something (dare I say) magical about this time of year. It's not the, star reflecting freezing your own twinkle toes off snow, and no i don't mean the over crowded living room full of unwanted guests, or trying to make everyone as comfortable as possible: "please make yourself at home" when really you wish that is where they were: at their own home! Or the smell of delicious cookies that smell oh-so-delectable only because of the amount of butter, sugar, and no love that went into them (because they're really store bought) Or the sparkling lights that blink on and off from that one random balcony, which can be seen from blocks away and (much like the star of bethleham) are often used as a guide home when lost and ocassionaly induce neighborhood wide seizures! Nope! You guessed wrong again, it isn't opening the "oh thank goodness there's a gift receipt" presents or drinking more eggnog than necessary nor all the food and drink available, which is enough to feed everyone at your party and have enough leftover for a soup kitchen type party, or the fact that almost no stores are open and the ones that are, are fully stocked and loaded...with people. These (clearly) aren't what make this time of year so magical, but it's the spirit it brings along with it. The togetherness, the forgiveness, the generosity and kindness, those are what make this a magical time of year.
So as I sit here all alone (I know boohoo) with my blanket wrapped around me, (because although I am in the desert, I have yet to figure out the air conditioning system, I can't seem to set the right temperature. It's either hot enough to make my makeup run (its in my makeup bag, not on my face) or so cold that the sound that wakes me from my sleep is actually my teeth clanking together) ....where was I? oh yes,...my blanket wrapped around me, the smell of Vix vapor rub sneaking up my nose from my-lathered-in-it chest and back, the sound of a rooster cawing at 12:50am and never shutting up ever (we live in the city for the sake of goodness!), and my dwelling in self pity with no hope for comfort from anything or anyone (maybe apart from the episode of 8 out of 10 cats with host Jimmy Carr (I met him once, briefly, honest!) , that I'm looking forward to watching) I ask as an isolated, clearly quacked out of her noodle, human person, that you remember the spirit you're in, remember those who need you, weather emotionally(love, support, caring, reassurance), physically(no you pervert that's not what I meant. but if that's what they need and you want to offer it, do so) or financially (help out a family member, neighbor, give charity). Now not only remember this togetherness, happiness and kindness but act on it! Then take it one step further and do this ALL YEAR!
Now a dew I shall bid you all, as I'm going to watch my show and nibble on some "slaved over the hot oven" cookies, that are really "store bought and being passed off as home made". I wish you all a blissful, harmonious, generous, loving, forgiving, joyous, laugh filled (from good company not from having too much to drink) holiday and life!
Have a safe, happy, merry, good, festive holiday/new year!
holiday missing, jet lagged, too hot/cold, self pity-er
Dedicated to all friends, family, loved and not so loved ones! I miss you.